Dead Like Me

This show is my new favorite obsession. I have no idea why, but I love it. It's almost as good as Deadliest Warrior. That is all. 

OMG... I totally had the best time!

Last night we went to Martini Ranch in Scottsdale, VIP, thanks Miss Shaina, and I totally had a blast! I looked super hot with my blonde hair and new dress on. Even though it was a full moon, and everybody was punking out about going out, I will still excited. 

It was fantastic not to have to wait in line and have drinks that were more like vodka on the rocks with a splash of Sprite, instead of Sprite with a splash of vodka. 

The drinks were good, the shots were good, the music was amazing! I loved dancing and drinking, especially to good 80's music. Seriously, who doesn't loves the Violent Femms and singing so loud at the top of your lungs and have no one to hear you since it is so loud. 

At the end of the night I was on the patio chatting it up with a hot potato (who I knew from before), and Shaina went in to pay the tab. Still standing outside, I was waiting for Shaina, and the bouncer came over and told me it was time to leave and I needed to go. I told him I was waiting for my friend inside, and he explained I could wait outside for her. So I went outside and waited, and waited, and waited some more, but alas no Shaina. I try desperately to get back into the building, but no luck. Nobody is coming to my rescue, and I think some people are laughing at me. 

Cue the tears... with the realization that I am wicked drunk, outside of a club in Scottsdale, with a friend with no cell phone, and no way home. So I decide to call Shaina like 7 times before I realize that the phone wasn't going to magically appear in her hands. Then I called the hot potato like 7 times because I knew he was closer, and maybe he could take me home... but no one was answering, and now I look like a crazy drunk bitch who is crying and repeatedly dialing people. I now realize that the hot potato will NOT be calling me anymore :(

So I bite the bullet and call THE EX. It is 2:30 our time, so it has to be like 5:30 his time. This conversation does not go well either. He is extremely pissed, and tells me to grow up and get in a taxi. Now, taking a taxi from Scottsdale to Peoria is freaking expensive, so I tell him I am going to stay at his house, and I need the security code. 

I run across the street crying and hop into the first cab I see, I tell the driver I have no cash, so he takes me to the bank, and I pull out $40. I get back in the car and tell him where I live. Driving there is an issue, because apparently... in my drunken state,  I forget the directions to the house! I haven't been there in a while, and I am the kind of person who would be like it's next to the McDonalds the gay church, and across the street from the Catholic church. THE EX is calling me and asking me for information about the cab driver, which at this point I can't give because I can't focus long enough. 

So we drive, and drive, and drive, and get totally lost. Nice! And also really sad, because I am the Drunk Girl, who is crying and can't figure out where I live! Eventually I make it home, don't set off the alarm, and go to bed. 

In the morning I wake up and see my damages. Apparently, I needed a lot of crackers, and spilled many of them on the floor. I also threw my clothes all over  the place. 

Shaina calls and she comes and gets me. I have no idea still, the next day, how to give directions to the house. See... not a drunk thing! She finds her way to the house thankfully, I take all my pills and we hop into the car laughing about how funny the the whole situation is. 

We drive like 2 houses, and I notice my tummy hurts. Duh! Who takes like 10 pills on an empty stomach and chugs a lot of water... a retard! So I decided a great idea would be to throw up in my Coach purse! Yea! So this week alone I have lost a diamond earring, and thrown up in my Coach purse. 

So, we go back to THE EX's house and I shower up, and off to breakfast we go. 

Seriously though, as much as it sounds like it sucks, it totally was the best night ever! I can't remember half the things I said or did, but I work up giggling and smiling this morning. Shaina was actually inside waiting for me, no hates please! It was nobodies fault! We both had the best time EVER!

First Blog!

Oh my gosh!

I feel so much pressure in writing a first posting! There is so much empty space, and I am not sure if I can fill it all with funny things! It's like you know you could be funny, but maybe you don't want to try too hard, because people will be like, damn, she is trying way to hard! And quite frankly, I am tired today.

Seriously now, I went to be at 4 and work up at 7. That is sleeping in for me... 7am, but 3 hours of sleep! Crazy. And I should be totally hung over, but I am not. I think I need to take a nap or something.